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Aw, you're all Mr. Grumpy Face today. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'!

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. Saving the world with meals on wheels. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish.

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff.

It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff.

You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister.

They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. You hit me with a cricket bat. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you? You've swallowed a planet!

I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff.

No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister. You hit me with a cricket bat. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me!