How to Trim a Jade Plant
Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans! I love you, buddy! We'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go home.
I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. You, minion. Lift my arm. AFTER HIM! Oh, I think we should just stay friends. What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. Alright, I'll get you some stupid food.
Yeah, lots of people did. Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg! Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Fetal stemcells, aren't those controversial?
In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells. I meant 'physically'. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually?
Shut up and take my money! Of all the friends I've had… you're the first. You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don't pay you or let you go. Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
Isn't it true that you have been paid for your testimony? My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book 'Earth in the Balance'', and the much more popular ''Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth', we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.
And why did 'I' have to take a cab? I love you, buddy! A true inspiration for the children. I wish! It's a nickel.
Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. Daylight and everything. When will that be? You, minion. Lift my arm. AFTER HIM! When will that be?
I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop. Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates… PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.
Of all the friends I've had… you're the first. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! A sexy mistake. Of all the friends I've had… you're the first. Ow, my spirit!
Ugh, it's filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we're at it? You're going back for the Countess, aren't you? No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires! Leela, Bender, we're going grave robbing.
